Where to Next | Spirituality, Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

12. How Not To Talk to Yourself

How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind and loving as you are with your BFF? Or do you get mouthy and sassy with the occasional edge? If it’s the latter,  it’s time to make some changes. In this week’s podcast episode, Stacey talks about certain words and phrases that may be doing more harm than good. What you think and how you speak to yourself are impactful, so tune into this episode and learn a few tiny yet potent tweaks to your vernacular.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:08) The thoughts and words you say to  yourself are so important. Hear why. 
(1:50) Let’s talk about the word, “Should.”
(3:05) The word “Should” can start a negative cycle in ourselves and others.
(4:55) Next, let’s talk about the phrase, “I’m a hot mess.”
(7:04) Hear solutions for how you can change these patterns.
(9:23) Change takes awareness and time. Stay compassionate towards yourself.
 
QUOTABLE
“95% of what we think on a daily basis is in our subconscious. Meaning, we are not actively aware of 95% of what's going on in our brain.”
“We start believing these words, we start identifying with them, and we may not realize the impact that they're having on us.”
“You are not a mess. You can say, ‘Oh wow, I’m having a bumpy day,’ but you are not a mess.”
“If you wouldn’t say it to somebody else, why would you say it to yourself?”
“Being gentle and kind to ourselves is what works.”
 
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11. My Easy (and Quick) Formula for Evaluating and Learning From Mistakes

In this episode of the Where to Next podcast, Stacey walks listeners through a Christmas morning gone wrong. When her children were young, instead of the idyllic present opening scene she’d dreamt of, her children broke out in tears. Not everything works out as we imagine. It’s what happens next that matters more: how do we evaluate and learn for next time. Hear Stacey’s process and tips for why this  assessment process can actually save you time and stress and money in this podcast episode.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:51) Hear Stacey’s for context for this episode.
(1:57) How often do you assess what has recently happened in your life?
(4:32) Learn  three quick and simple questions to help you assess recent situations.
(5:24) Let’s start with what worked?
(6:52) Now, what didn’t work?
(8:56) Lastly, what are you going to do differently?
(10:43) Hear how Stacey made changes based on the story told in the beginning of this episode.
(11:43) The assessment process doesn’t have to be long. Hear why.
(16:19) Get some knowledge from Stanford researcher, Carol Dweck.
 
QUOTABLE
“When you can hone in on this assessment process and see what's working in one area, you can very quickly adapt and apply it to the other areas of your life.”
“I want you to focus on the facts. Your brain loves to spin stories and create drama. This is why you need to catch yourself and stick to exactly what happened.”
“There is no shame in failing. There’s no failure in looking at what worked and what didn’t.”
“Your worth on this planet does not depend on how well you perform any job. Doesn't matter how many contributions you make. What does matter is that you show up doing the best you possibly can and you are willing to always learn and expand.”
 
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10. The Promises We Keep and Don’t

You’re probably someone who likes to keep the promises they make to others. After all, it seems like the right thing to do. But, do you keep promises to yourself? Do you keep up with the things you say you’ll do for yourself? In this podcast episode, Stacey explains why most people don’t keep promises to themselves and gives tips to start keeping them. She shares a few exercises and mindset changes you can use to get started. Tune in to learn how to keep those promises you make to yourself!
Email Stacey
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:11) Do you keep promises to others, but not yourself? Hear why this may be the case.
(4:57) Why is it in your best interest to prioritize your relationship with yourself?
(5:46) Why do we break the promises to ourselves? Hear a few reasons.
(8:33) So, how do we keep promises to ourselves?
(11:11) Here are some additional ways to keep promises to yourself.
(12:35) Here’s a plan for when you don’t keep your promises.?
(16:10) Try out these few phrases Stacey loves to use.
(17:51) Keeping promises to yourself are important!
(18:37) What are you willing to promise yourself today? Email Stacey and tell her!
 
QUOTABLE
“When you keep promises to yourself, that is not selfish, that is in service to you and everyone around you.”
“Our relationships with ourselves are the most important relationships we’ll ever have.”
“This is something FOR you. It’s something FOR the person you’re becoming.”
“We don’t live in a perfect world. Things happen. We can’t operate under the premise that everything will be perfect.”
“Keeping promises to yourself builds your self-confidence and self-trust. Only good comes from those two places.”
 
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9. What We Can Learn by Anti-Hero by TSwift

Have you heard Taylor Swift’s new song, “Ant-Hero”? If so, you know it perfectly describes our inner critic. The lyrics tell the story of how our brains self-sabotage. Understanding WHY this happens is what this podcast episode is about.  In this episode, Stacey chats how we can make peace with our inner critic and use that critic productively. If you relate to “Anti-Hero” or your brain’s inner critic, you’ll want to tune into this episode.
Listen to Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:44) “Anti-Hero” explains how your brain keeps you safe. We all have an anti-hero!
(2:33) Learn  how your brain works according to the Motivational Triad.
(5:22) Only 5% of your thoughts are conscious. How does this impact your actions?
(6:23) Do you experience fear when starting something new? Listen to why.
(7:54) Your inner critic will be with you forever. Hear how to make peace with her.
(11:11) How can we manage our own anti-heroes? Stacey gives the answer.
(13:17) Get Stacey’s three-step process to managing your anti-hero. First, try to ACCEPT her.
(15:23) Second, develop a DIALOGUE  with your anti-hero.
(16:56) Third, PROCEED.
 
QUOTABLE
“95% of our thoughts are subconscious, which means 5% of them are very conscious.”
“Your anti-hero is a part of you. Try to make peace with the fact that she’s with you.”
“You now have tools, nothing has gone wrong, and your inner critic doesn’t have to run the show.”
 
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8. My Four Agreements

Do you remember the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It inspired millions of people to outline a belief system for themselves. When Stacey read the book, she was struck by the profoundness and  simplicity of the concept and eventually was inspired to make her own four agreements. In this episode of Where to Next, you’ll hear what Stacey’s agreements are (hint: they spell the word SAFE), why she chose them, and her recommendations for how and why  to come up with your own set of beliefs. 
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:23) Stacey shares her own personal agreements. Hear what those are.
(3:15) Stacey’s four agreements spell out SAFE.
(3:53) First up, “Small things matter.”
(7:21) “Always working.” God/Source/Universe (insert yours) is always working in your life.
(11:09) “For me.” Everything is for your highest good in life.
(18:11) The newest to the list: “Everything is easier than I think.
(22:05) Create your core beliefs, or borrow hers.
 
QUOTABLE
“Anytime you want to implement a new habit, it starts with a small thing.”
“Everything single thing that has happened is for me and my highest, best good in life.”
“With highs, come lows because we need a contrast.”
 
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7. Why You Need Something To Look Forward To

What are you looking forward to today? Tomorrow? Next month? We ALL  need things to look forward to in life and learning to create anticipation is what Stacey is talking about today. You’ll learn the importance of visualizing  and the value of intentionally imagining. Check out this episode for a fun take on a small shift with big ripple effects.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:02) Let’s get in the habit of having something to look forward to!
(3:00) What is visualizing and why does it work?
(6:35) Why self-confidence so important?
(9:18) Visualization allows you to connect with your future self. Hear how.
(13:35) How can you have an effective visualization?
(16:28) Here’s how to start visualizing your future on a daily basis.
 
QUOTABLE
“Your body and brain can’t tell the difference between what’s happening in reality versus what’s happening in your brain when you’re imagining.”
“Future you is built today. It’s built right now.”
 
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6. How to Worry Less

In this week’s episode of Where to Next, host Stacey Vulakh chats about worrying. Those sleepless nights of tossing and turning. Those days where you can’t focus on anything other than what you’re worried about. Worrying isn’t helpful and - surprise - it doesn’t work. Often, it makes things worse. Tune into this episode and learn why we worry and hear Stacey’s best advice for taming the worries in your mind.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:28) The bad news: We’re never going to stop worrying. This is why.
(2:21) Stacey had a night of worrying recently. This is what she learned.
(4:29) What is worry?
(6:55) Worrying doesn’t work. Learn why.
(10:28) Worry interferes with your future. Hear Stacey’s example.
(12:59) Here’s an exercise to do the next time you’re worrying.
(20:07) Get some tools from Stacey to help with your worries.
(24:23) Learn the worst-case scenario game.
(28:03) How to be “with” your worry (an effective strategy)
 
QUOTABLE
“By worrying, we think we’re going to mitigate control.”
“Worry takes us away from this present moment.”
“When we’re in the future, we’re not in the present. Our future is built in the present.”
“Your truest impact is always what is happening right now in front of you.”
 
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5. Developing a Relationship With Your Intuition: My Story

In this week’s podcast episode, Stacey shares her story of how she developed a deeper relationship with her intuition in an aligned way. From a young age, she’s always been a helper and especially loves helping others to feel better. Almost two years ago,  she finally took a break to help herself - in a way she hadn’t previously - and discovered the importance of deeply trusting her intuition. In this episode, Stacey explains how to connect with and hear your intuition more clearly, and the benefits of living a life aligned with your intuition. Hint: life is easier. Listen and get these helpful action steps so you can do the same. 
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:35) Hear the very beginning of Stacey’s story.
(4:00) In October 2021, Stacey had a big realization. 
(7:11) Stacey’s intuition has always been a constant. Hear how connecting this way can make your life easier.
(10:37) Learn why this podcast was created.
(12:55) Here are three key takeaways from this episode.
 
QUOTABLE
“Our intuition and our bodies will never steer us wrong.”
“You may not know what’s next, and that’s okay.”
 
SOCIAL
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4. UN-Resolutions

Happy New Year! Is there a more loaded topic than New Year’s resolutions? Don’t get me wrong, having and setting resolutions can be helpful but oftentimes, we fail way more than we succeed. There are real reasons why and they may surprise you. In this episode of the Where to Next podcast, host Stacey Vulakh, explains why some resolutions aren’t productive and can actually lead to burnout. She talks about the mindset shifts to lasting commitment, and she shows you how to come up with sustainable (and fun) goals that will get results. Tune into this episode if you’re over setting resolution yet want to create real change in 2023.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:56) Hear how Stacey used to go about resolutions.
(4:49) What intentions do you have with your resolutions?
(8:07) Hear some fun ideas to set goals for the year.
(11:14) A tip from Stacey that she learned in business school.
(14:30) Why all-or-nothing thinking will be your downfall no matter what.
(17:35) What action feels like loving yourself right now?
(19:21) What do you want to accomplish in the next few weeks or months?
(19:51) Who do you need to become to accomplish your goals?
(22:33) Hear Stacey’s goal as it pertains to podcasting.
 
QUOTABLE
“These beliefs that perfection is what matters are just not true. And they will be the downfall of us if we continue to think them.”
“Choose to focus on consistency.”
“Consistency isn’t perfection. Maybe it’s 80/20. Maybe it’s 90% for you. Maybe it’s five days out of seven.”
 
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3. Journaling

Journaling. It’s a top priority for some people, and for others,  remains elusive and inconsistent for others. The truth is, journaling is incredibly helpful in all areas of your life. It’s a living, breathing chronicle of what’s going on in your brain. It can reflect your progress and help you identify stressors in your life, and it’s the ultimate personal growth tool. In this podcast episode of Where to Next, host Stacey discusses the lesser known  benefits of journaling and how to start (again) and how to  commit to this practice once and for all.  Tune in to this episode for simple and effective  journaling tips and a list of prompts to help you get started.
Stacey’s Favorite Journal
Journal Prompts
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:38) Here’s what journaling isn’t.
(2:26) Here’s what journaling is.
(3:32) So, why do we do it?
(6:33) Why is journaling invaluable?
(10:23) Hear Stacey’s recommendations for journaling processes.
(13:03) Learn what a brain dump is and how it could benefit you.
(15:17) The benefits of re-reading your brain dump. 
(18:30) Listen to how Stacey journals daily..
(21:20) Start listing three things you like about yourself. See why.
(23:40) What if you want privacy while keeping a journal?
 
QUOTABLE
“When you journal, it allows you time to go deep and listen to yourself.”
“When looking back on your brain dump, remember, ‘My thoughts are not who I am.’”
“When we start with what we’re grateful for, we calm our nervous system down.”
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