Where to Next | Spirituality, Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

16. Immaculate Mediocrity: The Shortcut to Your Dreams

How often do you stop yourself from trying something new because you’re afraid or have doubts? More than ever, s many of us are afraid of being challenged by and being mediocre at new activities; so we don’t try and then we end up feeling depleted and disappointed in ourselves. In today’s episode of the Where to Next podcast, host, Stacey Vulakh, shares why getting comfortable with mediocrity is the secret to achieving your dreams. A lot of women struggle with the concept of starting something they may not be great at because they feel like it’s selfish. In reality, doing the hard things and the things that light us up, even for just five minutes per day, is what makes us shine. Tune into this episode to hear how.
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KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:46) Hear what’s going on in Stacey’s personal life that inspired this episode.
(3:11) Stacey was also inspired by a quote from Cathy Heller. Hear the quote!
(4:57) We’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a beginner. Stacey explains why it’s okay to be mediocre.
(6:08) Do you keep yourself from starting something new because you’re trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable?
(9:22) You have a choice to get over this fear. Stacey explains how.
(12:14) What are the benefits of learning to be immaculately mediocre? Hear them!
(15:29) Pardon the interruption! Do you love chocolate? Stacey is giving away chocolate! Hear how to get one here!
(15:45) The little things add up. Start by doing something new for five minutes a day.
(16:43) Hear two reasons starting something new can save you time.
(18:19) Stacey shares a roadblock she often hears from women.
 
QUOTABLE
“I bet the reason why you think this is hard and boring is because it’s new.”
“Having the stamina to tolerate your mediocrity is the key to your brilliance. Having the courage to tolerate your mediocrity is what will allow you to find the magical things you’re going to do.” -Cathy Heller
“When we don’t take chances, we’re not pushing ourselves to our edges.”
“We spend so much time resisting what we want to do [and that’s why] we’re so flipping exhausted.”
“This is about creating because you want to. Because you exist. Because you can.”
 
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15. The Breakup List

Breakups aren’t only for relationships. We can break up with anything, including our habits. We all have habits or behaviors we could stand to take a look at and possibly separate from. Think: those behaviors that hold us back and keep us from growing. In this podcast episode, host, Stacey Vulakh, shares her breakup list and gives listeners some ideas on what they can breakup with. Because breakups can be fun (yes!), she shares a different way of separating from these behaviors to make it more effective. Tune into this episode if you have some habits you need to give the boot!
Episode 12: How Not to Talk to Yourself
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:26) Stacey shares a story from a recent event.
(2:19) Does having a “to-do list” feel heavy and never-ending to you?
(3:44) Here’s a list of things Stacey has broken up with.
(6:38) Do you tell yourself things don’t matter? Hear why this may be a destructive behavior.
(10:12) Stacey broke up with “I am” statements. She explains why.
(11:55) Make breaking up with these things fun and write a “Dear John” letter!
(13:15) Stacey explains why you want to  make a breakup list.
(16:16) Here’s possible upsides of breaking up with these habits.
 
QUOTABLE
“Breaking up with things can be just as freeing as adding things.”
“We’re always learning.”
“We have taken so much in our lives”
“If you can gently break up and put some distance, separate that part of you gently, it will fall by the wayside and melt into the background.”
“We've taken on so much in our lives, we don't even realize the impact that certain habits and behaviors have.”
 
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14. What Are the Best Decisions You’ve Ever Made (and Why You Want To Know)

What are the best decisions you’ve ever made in your life? Have you taken the time to think about them? In this podcast episode, Stacey shares the best decisions she has ever made and how they impacted her life. And she wants you to do the same. Have fun with this one, some of your decisions may surprise you!
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:43) Today, we’re talking about decisions, in particular, the great ones.
(1:40) We make decisions from the moment we wake up.
(2:28) Why do we want to know our best decisions?
(4:33) Here are the best decisions Stacey has ever made.
(8:28) Stacey shares about one other big decision that has to do with her husband.
(10:05) Hear this seemingly insignificant decision and how it changed her life. 
(11:36) In 2021, Stacey stopped offering private coaching. Here’s why she decided this..
(14:46) Why are lower-stake decisions and higher-stake decisions the same?
(17:55) Here’s why you should jot down the best decisions you have made.
 
QUOTABLE
“Reflecting on the best decisions you’ve ever made are kind of like a footnote to present you and future you.”
“What people say about your decisions has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with them.”
“They’re all just decisions. It’s the value we assign to them that makes them mean something.”
 
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13. It’s Show Time! Meet Your Future Self

On today’s episode of Where to Next, host, Stacey Vulakh, chats about the concept of “future self.” This is very different than setting goals. It’s the process of becoming who you want to be—every day. Tune into this podcast episode to hear how to create and become the person you have always wanted to be with some helpful questions to ask yourself on the road to becoming.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:40) Let’s talk about the concept of “future self.”
(1:49) Who is “future you”? What is different?
(4:20) How is “future self” different than setting goals?
(7:12) Here is a question you can ask your future self so you can start to become her.
(8:26) What is standing between you today and future you?
(10:20) A big part of creating “future self” is change. But not the type of change you may think.
(12:05) Hear Stacey’s suggestions for becoming your future self.
(14:18) Make sure to send this podcast to your friend!
 
QUOTABLE
“Every single person on this planet has demands on their time.”
“You are making progress. It is never about doing everything perfectly.”
“Your future is happening whether you think it is or not.”
“Focus on the being over doing.”
“Future self work is loving and gentle.”
“I want to be proud of who I am being because I know the proud version of me takes different actions than insecure and scared me.”
 
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12. How Not To Talk to Yourself

How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind and loving as you are with your BFF? Or do you get mouthy and sassy with the occasional edge? If it’s the latter,  it’s time to make some changes. In this week’s podcast episode, Stacey talks about certain words and phrases that may be doing more harm than good. What you think and how you speak to yourself are impactful, so tune into this episode and learn a few tiny yet potent tweaks to your vernacular.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:08) The thoughts and words you say to  yourself are so important. Hear why. 
(1:50) Let’s talk about the word, “Should.”
(3:05) The word “Should” can start a negative cycle in ourselves and others.
(4:55) Next, let’s talk about the phrase, “I’m a hot mess.”
(7:04) Hear solutions for how you can change these patterns.
(9:23) Change takes awareness and time. Stay compassionate towards yourself.
 
QUOTABLE
“95% of what we think on a daily basis is in our subconscious. Meaning, we are not actively aware of 95% of what's going on in our brain.”
“We start believing these words, we start identifying with them, and we may not realize the impact that they're having on us.”
“You are not a mess. You can say, ‘Oh wow, I’m having a bumpy day,’ but you are not a mess.”
“If you wouldn’t say it to somebody else, why would you say it to yourself?”
“Being gentle and kind to ourselves is what works.”
 
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11. My Easy (and Quick) Formula for Evaluating and Learning From Mistakes

In this episode of the Where to Next podcast, Stacey walks listeners through a Christmas morning gone wrong. When her children were young, instead of the idyllic present opening scene she’d dreamt of, her children broke out in tears. Not everything works out as we imagine. It’s what happens next that matters more: how do we evaluate and learn for next time. Hear Stacey’s process and tips for why this  assessment process can actually save you time and stress and money in this podcast episode.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(0:51) Hear Stacey’s for context for this episode.
(1:57) How often do you assess what has recently happened in your life?
(4:32) Learn  three quick and simple questions to help you assess recent situations.
(5:24) Let’s start with what worked?
(6:52) Now, what didn’t work?
(8:56) Lastly, what are you going to do differently?
(10:43) Hear how Stacey made changes based on the story told in the beginning of this episode.
(11:43) The assessment process doesn’t have to be long. Hear why.
(16:19) Get some knowledge from Stanford researcher, Carol Dweck.
 
QUOTABLE
“When you can hone in on this assessment process and see what's working in one area, you can very quickly adapt and apply it to the other areas of your life.”
“I want you to focus on the facts. Your brain loves to spin stories and create drama. This is why you need to catch yourself and stick to exactly what happened.”
“There is no shame in failing. There’s no failure in looking at what worked and what didn’t.”
“Your worth on this planet does not depend on how well you perform any job. Doesn't matter how many contributions you make. What does matter is that you show up doing the best you possibly can and you are willing to always learn and expand.”
 
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10. The Promises We Keep and Don’t

You’re probably someone who likes to keep the promises they make to others. After all, it seems like the right thing to do. But, do you keep promises to yourself? Do you keep up with the things you say you’ll do for yourself? In this podcast episode, Stacey explains why most people don’t keep promises to themselves and gives tips to start keeping them. She shares a few exercises and mindset changes you can use to get started. Tune in to learn how to keep those promises you make to yourself!
Email Stacey
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:11) Do you keep promises to others, but not yourself? Hear why this may be the case.
(4:57) Why is it in your best interest to prioritize your relationship with yourself?
(5:46) Why do we break the promises to ourselves? Hear a few reasons.
(8:33) So, how do we keep promises to ourselves?
(11:11) Here are some additional ways to keep promises to yourself.
(12:35) Here’s a plan for when you don’t keep your promises.?
(16:10) Try out these few phrases Stacey loves to use.
(17:51) Keeping promises to yourself are important!
(18:37) What are you willing to promise yourself today? Email Stacey and tell her!
 
QUOTABLE
“When you keep promises to yourself, that is not selfish, that is in service to you and everyone around you.”
“Our relationships with ourselves are the most important relationships we’ll ever have.”
“This is something FOR you. It’s something FOR the person you’re becoming.”
“We don’t live in a perfect world. Things happen. We can’t operate under the premise that everything will be perfect.”
“Keeping promises to yourself builds your self-confidence and self-trust. Only good comes from those two places.”
 
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9. What We Can Learn by Anti-Hero by TSwift

Have you heard Taylor Swift’s new song, “Ant-Hero”? If so, you know it perfectly describes our inner critic. The lyrics tell the story of how our brains self-sabotage. Understanding WHY this happens is what this podcast episode is about.  In this episode, Stacey chats how we can make peace with our inner critic and use that critic productively. If you relate to “Anti-Hero” or your brain’s inner critic, you’ll want to tune into this episode.
Listen to Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(1:44) “Anti-Hero” explains how your brain keeps you safe. We all have an anti-hero!
(2:33) Learn  how your brain works according to the Motivational Triad.
(5:22) Only 5% of your thoughts are conscious. How does this impact your actions?
(6:23) Do you experience fear when starting something new? Listen to why.
(7:54) Your inner critic will be with you forever. Hear how to make peace with her.
(11:11) How can we manage our own anti-heroes? Stacey gives the answer.
(13:17) Get Stacey’s three-step process to managing your anti-hero. First, try to ACCEPT her.
(15:23) Second, develop a DIALOGUE  with your anti-hero.
(16:56) Third, PROCEED.
 
QUOTABLE
“95% of our thoughts are subconscious, which means 5% of them are very conscious.”
“Your anti-hero is a part of you. Try to make peace with the fact that she’s with you.”
“You now have tools, nothing has gone wrong, and your inner critic doesn’t have to run the show.”
 
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8. My Four Agreements

Do you remember the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It inspired millions of people to outline a belief system for themselves. When Stacey read the book, she was struck by the profoundness and  simplicity of the concept and eventually was inspired to make her own four agreements. In this episode of Where to Next, you’ll hear what Stacey’s agreements are (hint: they spell the word SAFE), why she chose them, and her recommendations for how and why  to come up with your own set of beliefs. 
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:23) Stacey shares her own personal agreements. Hear what those are.
(3:15) Stacey’s four agreements spell out SAFE.
(3:53) First up, “Small things matter.”
(7:21) “Always working.” God/Source/Universe (insert yours) is always working in your life.
(11:09) “For me.” Everything is for your highest good in life.
(18:11) The newest to the list: “Everything is easier than I think.
(22:05) Create your core beliefs, or borrow hers.
 
QUOTABLE
“Anytime you want to implement a new habit, it starts with a small thing.”
“Everything single thing that has happened is for me and my highest, best good in life.”
“With highs, come lows because we need a contrast.”
 
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7. Why You Need Something To Look Forward To

What are you looking forward to today? Tomorrow? Next month? We ALL  need things to look forward to in life and learning to create anticipation is what Stacey is talking about today. You’ll learn the importance of visualizing  and the value of intentionally imagining. Check out this episode for a fun take on a small shift with big ripple effects.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
(2:02) Let’s get in the habit of having something to look forward to!
(3:00) What is visualizing and why does it work?
(6:35) Why self-confidence so important?
(9:18) Visualization allows you to connect with your future self. Hear how.
(13:35) How can you have an effective visualization?
(16:28) Here’s how to start visualizing your future on a daily basis.
 
QUOTABLE
“Your body and brain can’t tell the difference between what’s happening in reality versus what’s happening in your brain when you’re imagining.”
“Future you is built today. It’s built right now.”
 
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